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36 Funny Cowboy Jokes And Puns! LaffGaff, Home Of Laughte

Best Cowboy Jokes. Saddle up for all our favorite cowboy jokes and puns! Enjoy! Shoot The Artist. A cowboy rides into town in the Wild West and shoots an artist. The sheriff asks him, Why did you do that? The cowboy says, I thought he was going to draw Top 10 of the Funniest Cowboys Jokes and Puns. Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One of them sees a tree in the distance that's draped in bacon. It's a bacon tree! We're saved! he says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets. It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush More jokes about: car, cowboy, dirty, money, women Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop

89+ Cowboys Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Lou

  1. 21. Q: How do cowboys keep their cattle calm? A: Play them relaxing moooosic. 20. Q: Why did the cowboy get so many laughs? A: Because hewas always horsing around! #19 - 10. Cowboy Jokes. 19. Q: What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar? A: Gimme a slug of whiskey. 18. Q: What did the cowboy say to the artist? A: Draw.
  2. The first cowboy says, You tell your wife to get on the bed on. all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and. she's really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear : Your. sister likes this position too. Then try to hang on for 8 seconds. Cowboy Jokes. Bull Jokes
  3. The best Cowboy Puns online, including cowboys puns, old west puns and rancher puns. Yeeehaaaaa! Folks, you just made your way into our Cowboy Puns
  4. No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. 1. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. 2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say.
  5. There are two types of people in the world: Those who love dirty jokes and those who say they don't but are lying. Don't worry about apologizing for your raunchy sense of humor here. There's no shame in laughing at an R-rated joke or sharing it with your friends. As it happens, some of the most beautifully crafted, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes are adult dirty jokes
  6. Dirty jokes . Dirty jokes have been among us for ages but most of us are too shy to share the jokes that we have heard. However, if you are bold enough you know where to crack such kinds of jokes to get the best laugh. We all know that dirty jokes are unsavory that will never be appropriate for any kind of gathering
  7. Anastasiya Pavlova/Unsplash. Howdy, partners! When you think of cowboys, you probably think of roping steer or blazing a trail through a rattlesnake-infested desert. While we doubt life on the range in the Wild West was full of fun and laughs, the word cowboy and the various accouterments they traveled with tend to make for some pretty hilarious cowboy jokes and puns

Dirty Jokes That Are Actually Funny And NSFW. by leahsoboroff. September 26, 2017. Usually when people tell dirty jokes they aren't funny - or at least I don't find them to be. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. Disclaimer: these are actually pretty. Cowboy Pilot Joke. Cowboy Wedding Joke. Dear Hunting Joke. Death Row Joke. Enchanted Rattlesnake Joke. Fart Dixie Joke. Fishermen From Arkansas Joke. Fishing Trip Joke. Half- Man Half-beast Joke You also might not want to whip out a dirty joke in front of your parents, grandparents, or in-laws—but hey, we don't know what your relationship is like your fam, so you do you. Second, don't. Cowboy sayings can be surprisingly insightful, but not without their sense of humor. Discover some funny cowboy sayings that'll get you thinking A: Ranch Dressing. Q: How Did The Cowboy Ride Into Town On Friday & Ride Away Three Days Later On Friday? A: The horse's name was Friday! Q: What Do You Call A Cowboy With Bad Gas? A: Darn Tootin'! Q: What Did The Cowboy Say To The Pencil? A: Draw, partner. << See All of our Jokes Categories Here

Just ice cream. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream I can't say I'm a cowboy because that's just not what we do. We don't tell everyone that we know everything and we don't gloat that were not afraid to get dirty. What we do shows through the pride we have in our work. The pride we have when our cattle slip in the sale ring on sale day. The quite pride we have when our horse cuts out a. Why do marsupials make such good tea? It's koala tea. What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher. Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He was a fungi. What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went to work? Bison. What do you call a fancy sea creature? Sofishticated. What kind of dog doesn't bark? A hush puppy Best dirty jokes ever - Unijokes.com - 952 Dirty jokes - page 2. Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say don't and if he touches your pussy say stop? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said don't stop. Vote: share joke. Joke has 85.54 % from 2811 votes. More jokes about: dirty. Two older women were outside their nursing home, having a.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. True cowboys are the ones who aren't afraid to get dirty. When in doubt, let your Horse do the thinkin'. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. Where the leather is scarred, there is a great story to tell. You can tell a true cowboy by the type of horse that he rides Out of all the different types of jokes, what do you call? jokes can be the funniest. They're simple, engage the audience with a question, and easy to remember The Best 16 Dachshund Jokes. Following is our collection of funny Dachshund jokes. There are some dachshund ruff jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline

Best cowboy jokes ever - Unijokes

  1. These cowboy jokes are especially good for parents, cowboy fans, rodeo fans, farmers, ranchers and teachers - but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys and Westerns. You'll find silly cowboy jokes, funny cow jokes, cowboy puns, knock knock jokes about cowboys and more
  2. Hey all. This is the gay jokes section. Before you read further I want to make it absolutely clear. I do not hate or have anything against gay people. Don't use these jokes to hurt others or make them sad. Remember that word can hurt more than you think. These jokes are only for fun and should be used on someone who you know can handle them.
  3. Absolutely hillarious dirty one-liners! The largest collection of dirty one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 dirty one liners

Top 65 Cowboy Jokes That Will Make You Yee-Haw Les Liste

Rodeo Jokes - Adult Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Funny Jokes

Cowboy Puns Best Jokes and Pun

Dirty Jokes That Are Funny ***** Really funny jokes for adults dirty: Fancy reading a few dirty jokes from our user submitted collection. We review each joke and then viewers like yourself can rate them on how funny and list of dirty jokes--you think they truly are. Funniest jokes ever dirty **** Funny Rude Jokes. Funny Rude Jokes 1 Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69. Funny Rude Jokes 2 Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? They can't get the laboratory mice to arse fuck. Funny Rude Jokes 3 Why can't women read maps? Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch. Memes, Leslie Meme, 100%. KAPPIT. Forget a knight in shining armor I want a cowboy in wranglers. SAVE TO FOLDER. Funny Quotes, Funny Cowboy Quotes, Funny Flirty Sayings, 0%. KAPPIT. If your boots have never seen anything but country music concerts, you're probably from the city

A: Because all the other cowboys were saying, 'Get a-long little doggie!' Q: What does a horse say when he's finished eating his hay? A: Well, that's the last straw! Q: Why do cowboys always die with their boots on? A: So they won't stub their toes when they kick the bucket! Q: How do you find a lost rabbit? A: Make a noise like a carro Fart Jokes. Something smells funny it must be these gassy gags! All the funny fart jokes you need. Farts are funny, so we've compiled the best gags about bottom-burps to give you a good laugh. From farts in a lift to flatulent cats, these's something for everyone here as long as you can stand the smell! And when you're done here. Read on to discover the best clean jokes that promise a whole lot of giggles for both adults and kids alike.. 101 Clean Jokes. 1. There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Say addicted after everything I say. Say addicted after everything I say. drugs. addicted. alcohol. addicted. What hit you in the face last night? A dick did

Bible verses about Dirty Jokes. 1 John 3:9-10 ESV / 12 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful. No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God I Left 2 Cowboys Tricks On The Dash Of My Car Funny Meme Picture. I Look Around This Cowboys Locker Room Funny Image. If You Have Kept The Cowboys From Going To The Playoffs Funny Cowboy Meme Image. My Cowboy Hat Is A Dual Core Funny Meme Picture. Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy Funny Cowboy Meme Photo. That Call It A Rodeo Funny Cowboy Meme Image.

Here come the longer funny jokes! Be careful, with them: Three guys go on a ski trip together. When they get to the ski lodge there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job. Even though there are plenty of great bird jokes, cow jokes, bee puns, and pig puns out there you could tell, there's just something special about a good duck joke that'll have everyone.

Ropes, spurs, leather, gloves; even if I weren't a cowboy, yet talking about a good time. Copy This. Roses are red. Mud is brown. Country music up. Tailgate down. Copy This. Run if ya want, Missy, but I'll have you hog-tied quicker than you can say 'stay away from me you Skoal-chewin'freak.' Copy This. Save a horse. Ride a cowboy. Copy This Clean Taco Jokes For Kids. Waiter, this isn't a taco. Its got a hamburger bun!. Im so sorry! No bun intended.. You will never truly know heartbreak until you see a waiter coming with your tacos and then he sharply swerves to a different table! Waiter! Theres a dead fly in my taco!

With older kids, it's always a toss-up whether corny jokes will elicit a laugh or an eye-roll, and what works one day might be deemed uncool the next.But these corny jokes don't have expiration dates, so you can bust them out for years to come Laffy Taffy jokes are the kind of quirky Q and As anyone can find funny, and since the beginning, the jokes have been written and sent in by children, making them extra special and adorable. These cute, funny Laffy Taffy jokes are all sourced from the backs of the iconic candies, and are sure to give you and your friends a sweet chuckle Here is a collection of reader-submitted chemistry jokes and puns. Some of them are groaners, but some are quite funny. You can read other jokes specific to certain topics, like Mole Day . Two guys walk into a restaurant. One guy says I would like some H2O. The other guy says I would like some H 2 O too ( H2O2 )

50 Dirty Jokes That Are (Never Appropriate But) Always

  1. Put these so-bad-they're-good best dad jokes of all time to use as Father's Day captions and put a smile on your old man's face this year. Of course, if you'd like to take a more sentimental route, we have plenty of meaningful dad quotes to choose from too
  2. These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers - but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. You'll find the best horse jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes and more
  3. 7 - Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his... More ››. 8 - A man is walking down the street when he hears a voice, Pssst you come over here! He looks r... More ››. 9 - A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, My dogs cross-eyed
  4. And here are a few hilarious, flirty rejections just to make you laugh some more. If you get served one of these, you can't even get mad, they're that good. Let's hope your cheesy pick-up lines do a better job than these! 1. Boy: I'd really like to get into your pants. Girl: No thanks
  5. What do you call jokes. Enjoy these funny what do you call jokes and puns. These are the best and will make you laugh. We also have other clean, corny, or funny jokes categories. Make sure to check them
  6. Mud is brown. Country music up. Tailgate down. Run if ya want, Missy, but I'll have you hog-tied quicker than you can say 'stay away from me you Skoal-chewin'freak.'. Save a horse. Ride a cowboy. That's right, Girl. I'd like to have a stable relationship with you. That's right, I said 'AND the horse you rode in on.'

The people consider them very boring and do not like to sit with them. The picture is not as it seems to be. The geologists are also very pleasant by nature. It is the nature of their subject that makes them grave-looking people. They also cut jokes and puns with their relatives and loved ones Jokes are voted by you! Every week we update this list to prioritise the funniest jokes, help us improve the page by voting on how funny you find the jokes. Press the thumb up icon to let us know you found the joke funny and the thumb down icon to let us know perhaps the joke isn't as good as we thought! Top 10 Funniest Jokes The Cowboys have already proved that anyone can lead the club. If Troy Aikman goes down, they just bring in someone off the bench and he doesn't miss a beat. Emmitt Smith is the Dallas Cowboys. If they lose him to an injury or a contract dispute, the Cowboys can't win. You might say the Cowboys are a one-man team and the rest of the team SUCKS

Read these jokes and laugh your pants off. Dont forget to share with friend. Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres died? They found her face down in Ricki Lake. What did one lesbian frog say to the other? You know, we do taste like chicken!. A lesbian slept with 13 women in one night and suddenly died. At her autopsy it was discovered she had died. Funny Jokes to Tell on National Tell a Joke Day (And Every Other Day of the Year) By Julia K. Porter, RD.com Updated: Feb. 14, 2020 No kidding: You're going to love this cheesy collection of puns and one-liners—they're ideal for celebrating National Tell a Joke Day on August 16 An airplane pilot dies at the controls. He goes to Hell. The devil takes him to the 'newly arrived' area. There are three doors, marked 1, 2, and 3. The devil tells the pilot that he is going to get to choose his own hell, but first, the devil has to take care of something first, and disappears Laugh at 73 really funny chicken jokes.We did our best to bring you only the best ones. So these why did the chicken cross the road jokes will sure make you laugh.. 1 Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?A: Because chickens hadn't evolved yet

68 Adult Dirty Jokes So Racy You'll Want to Cover Your Eye

  1. What do you call two banana peels? A pair of slippers! What can an apple do that a banana can't? Look round! A banana, a giraffe and Taylor Swift walk into a bar. 'What is this?'. The barman asks 'Some sort of joke?!'. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
  2. Here is a great collection with the best cow jokes you will find out there. For me personally jokes about cows are a bit like dad jokes. Some can be fun, silly and crazy and they use words in a fun way. Most of them are easy to remember because they only consists of two sentences
  3. 119 Where do animals go when they lose their tails? To the retail store. 120 I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. 121 Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one. 122 What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe dammit, BREATHE! 123 Why couldn't the pirate learn the.
  4. Laugh with the 150 best Christmas jokes 2020, including funny Christmas jokes for kids, Santa dad jokes, elf humor, dirty adult jokes, and more hilarious holiday fun in 2020
  5. Families across the country are invited to share their best jokes to raise money to support children in need - especially those impacted by COVID-19. To get involved, all you need to do is donate, pick your favorite jokes for kids, and share a video on social media. Then tag someone and challenge them to do the same
  6. utes go by and the young cowboy gets the courage to speak up Sir, if you ain't gonna eat that would you
  7. Switch to the dark mode that's kinder on your eyes at night time. Switch to the light mode that's kinder on your eyes at day time

All types of funny jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for adults, knock Knock jokes, doctor jokes, religion jokes, marriage jokes, cheating jokes, animal jokes, puns, one liners, dirty jokes, silly jokes, police jokes, prison jokes and many more No need to be alarmed ma'am-That's not a pistol in my pocket. Cowboy Pick Up Lines. You can ride me so hard. They'll have to take me out back and shoot me. You can ride me so hard. They'll have to take me out back and shoot me. Cowboy Pick Up Lines. Save a horse. Ride a cowboy Cowboy Hat Etiquette. October 23, 2017 Bob Boze Bell. Before we get to the Boy's Club Rules, Lynda A. Sánchez, a third-generation rancher, weighs in with her thoughts on how women have made manners gentler and frontier living more polite. Women have always made a difference, unless you are some tough wannabe bushwacker or a back-shooter What do you call a UX Designer who only does visuals? → A UI Designer. Thanks and sorry to Dieter Rams, Julie Zhuo, Jesse James Garrett, Jared M. Spool, Alan Cooper, Jony Ive, General Assembly, Slack and Apple for having names that can be shoehorned into my very bad jokes What makes fart and poop jokes and puns so funny is the way they tease out a universal human experience. Funny jokes about digestion call out something that everyone does — but tries to hide. And while fart jokes and puns may make for some cringe-worthy comedy moments, they represent a great tradition. From the Whoopi cushions of yore to the.

That Cowboy Stench. Frontier cattle drovers were definitely hygienically-challenged. Having worked in the emergency room as a young physician throughout the 1970s, I learned the difference between human sweat and stench, as these apply to the presentation of different patients under a wide variety of circumstances The ten sharpest philosophy jokes. In the middle of the night, Holmes nudges Watson awake, and says, Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see Well, that's where these dirty questions to ask a girl can make all the difference! How to initiate dirty talk and ask dirty questions. Don't make the mistake of jumping right in, and asking something really sexual too soon. Unless she's eager to talk dirty, chances are, she'll be put off or may just change the conversation

14.What do you give to a penguin that's ill? Some medical tweetment. 15.What do penguins eat for lunch? Ice-burgers. 16.Why did the penguin cross the road? To go with the floe. Conversational Jokes . Memorise these jokes about penguins so you'll have them forever, a penguin joke a day keeps the doctor away A hilarious joke that's filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you. From naughty gags about sex, to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humour, look no further

85 Dirty Jokes that Will Even Make the Innocents Laugh

  1. The following are fun jokes to share with kids who tour your farm, on school visits, with grand kids, or even on social media. These are my top 20 cow jokes. Read to the end they do get better
  2. An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called Lenin in Poland.. When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. But this is a travesty
  3. Funny Clean Jokes for Kids. 167. Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. You have my Word. 168. My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort. 169. We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea

Very fast!'Funny Indian Taxi Joke Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi. 'Oh! Nissan - Made in Japan! Very fast!'. Then yet another car zipped by, and the tourist said, 'Oh! Mitsubishi - Made in Japan! Very fast!'. The taxi driver, who was 100% Indian, was starting to get a little annoyed that the Japanese made cars. Polish Sex Quiz. A Polack Joke. A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, Wanna hear a Polack joke? The guy next to him replies, Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I'm Polish. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2 tall, weighs 225, and he's Polish

5 The Cowboy Basically just an ungroomed Chevron, the Cowboy is a monster of a moustache. It hangs penduously from the face like an extra ballsack, and you know what? That's pretty much what it is. If somebody's wearing the Cowboy, it's because their body just didn't have enough room for all the huevos they're rocking, so it sprouted new ones Some of these dad jokes might have escaped from our cheese jokes page! Dads love cringe-worthy jokes, and boy have we got some corny ones to get your eyes rolling. This dad joke collection features our top picks, guaranteed to get the whole family groaning. You know that feeling when you tell a joke, and no one laughs but you? Yeah, dads know. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird finally the man said If you don't stop swearing I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment. The parrot continued, so finally the man put the bird in the freezer. About an hour later the parrot asked the man to please open the door Across fifteen seasons and 289 episodes, Family Guy has made jokes about just about every race, religion, ideology, and geographic location, to say nothing of bestiality, domestic violence, sex crimes, and Conway Twitty. Let's take a look at some moments which really ticked off the powers that be. Here are 15 Times Family Guy Went Way Too Far

50+ Cowboy Jokes And Puns Perfect For Horsing Aroun

HUGE collection of Racial Asian Jokes. Daily Updates. These jokes scream 'Politically Incorrect' but no collection would be complete without Bruce Lee, chinks, bug-eater and other versions of Asian jokes. Very offensive. Racist Asian jokes and one-liners on Jokerz.co 46. Chemistry is really funny; there are even people who laugh at nitrogen (I) oxide (nitrous oxide). 47. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage. 48. It's good to keep a positive attitude and not have an electron cloud hanging over your head. 49 A man took his parrot to the vet because it had been sick. The vet said, I have good news and I have bad news. The bad news is, your bird has chirpees. The good news is, it's tweetable. #5. A woman gets up, puts up the shades, takes the cover off her parrot's cage, makes coffee, and has a cigarette

Dirty Jokes That Are Actually Funny And NSFW - Society1

The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven. ( Sent by Bill) I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup. ( Sent by Margaret) Humour is to be brave enough to laugh of one self. ( Sent by Riley) Humor is like salt from mother earth. And those salted very well will stay fresh for. Check out funny Little Johnny jokes we have found for you. They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer. You will definitely enjoy them.. 1. A teacher asks her class, What do you want to be when you grow up? Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an.

Cowboy Jokes - Jokes4us

Alfalfa Desperado - What cowboys often called a farmer. A Lick and a Promise - To do a haphazard job. She just gave it a lick and a promise. All Abroad - At a loss, not comprehending. All Beer and Skittles - Unpleasant, not so happy. All Down But Nine - Missed the point, not understood. This referenced missing all nine pins in. Find the most funny Rooster Jokes. We have a great collection with the best Rooster Jokes at JokesAllDay.co

100 Dirty Sex Jokes That'll Make You Laugh - Best Dirty Joke

The Best Ever Book of Farmer Jokes Jokes For Farmers: Funny Farming Jokes, Puns and Stories Michelle Miller, the Farm Babe, is an Iowa-based farmer, public speaker, and writer, who lives and works with her boyfriend on their farm, which consists of row crops, beef cattle, and sheep So here are 23 classic Jeff Dunham ventriloquist jokes and dialogues that you can practice to refine your technique. Just make sure no one notices your mouth moving. Contents [ show] 1 1. Every ventriloquist knows dummies have no manners. 2 2. And they think their owners could not be more dumb. 3 3. I mean, you are talking to a puppet after all

Funny Cowboy Sayings - YOURDICTIONAR

Well, if the above jokes haven't clued you in, here's the more analytical definition: A dad joke is a short joke, typically a pun, presented as a one-liner or a question and answer, but not a. Jokes about fat people aren't funny. They just don't work out. Guys, don't make fun of fat people It's not as if they don't have enough on their plate. We shouldn't make fun of fat people... They have enough on their plate already. We need to stop joking on fat people so much. They have enough on their plate already Nothing's sweeter than the sound of your little ones' laughter. So here are the 40 best dog jokes out there that are guaranteed to get them — and your whole family — howling with laughter! Q: Why are dogs like phones? A: Because they have collar IDs! Q: Why do dogs run in circles? A: Because it's hard to run Read more.. Funny Riddles for Adults. Below is a collection of funny riddles for adults with answers. While there are many funny hard riddles from the first category above that could also be perfect for adults, this section is designed specifically with adults in mind and may be too difficult or inappropriate for kids

Here Are 10 Jokes About People In Arkansas That Are Actually Funny. Okay, okay. We hate all the how-many-teeth jokes and the jokes about how we don't own shoes. We hate the speed dating at family reunions jokes and the married-to-our-siblings jokes. Are there any jokes about Arkansans that don't turn our stomachs? Are there any we can laugh at Die Hard. Quotes. John McClane: Yippie-Ki-Yay, Motherfucker! Karl: He wasn't lying about Marco. He's down on the street. The other one was Heinrich. And his bag is missing. Hans Gruber: He had the. Funny dog jokes, puns, and riddles. Clean jokes for kids and people of all ages